OK so I’ve not posted on here for a little while. The main reason is that I’ve been in a relationship, the first in recovery.

Wow, any illusions I had that it would all be easy have long gone. It’s been hard. Is this because the relationship isn’t right? What does God want me to do? How do I cope with boundaries? I don’t have answers to these questions yet, and I’m not sure I will. I’m learning that part of handing over my will is to accept that I will not have answers to all my questions.

For others in the same position, I’d recommend Pia Mellody’s books, especially ‘The intimacy factor’ and ‘facing love addiction’. I re-read the latter and it became much more real while in a relationship. I also discovered, I’m an avoidant more than I’m an addict.

I’m also finding that Al-anon and S-anon is sometimes more helpful for me at the moment than SLAA, with the focus on how to have healthy relationships and handle other people’s imperfections.